if I get a bad english grade im sending this to my teacher
when u accidentally laugh at a joke about u
when teachers actually start teaching on the first day of class
reblog if u remember when apple was a FRUIT, kids played OUTSIDE not on their ipads, and decomposing VICTIMS of the BUBONIC plague LITTERED the STREETS
fifty shades (thats it. thats the whole joke. im wearing 50 pairs of sunglasses right now this is comedy gold people)
“ya but how many chainz” i holler from the back of the crowd. suddenly its my show and your girlfriend is on my arm now. shes also a man and your gay
what if garbage was spelled like garbij
how are u gonna try to correct me and then not even put the right word …
*wife and I move into our new house*
bae: wow :) it’s even bigger than I thought lets unpack our things.
*unpacks a creepy ass doll*
bae: wow, how’d this get in here I haven’t seen this since my childhood..I swore we threw it away years ago? oh well..*she tries to put that obvious demon shit up on the dresser in our room*
Everyone’s like whoa, ants can lift 50 times their weight. A fucking leaf is like 50 times their weight. I’ll fight an ant right now.
me: *waves at a dog being walked*
dog’s owner: *waves at me*